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Thursday, November 17, 2011

QOTD - Is it fair to the children to cornrow their hair?

Hello everyone! And welcome to the new followers!

I was going to post the latest hairstyle today but I got this letter last night I wanna share this instead.


The Letter:

Hey NHCI,
I admire the fact that you've taken it upon yourself to care for your little sisters hair - it's very impressive - but I think you need help with the mental aspect of being born AA.

By making 'Bunny' sit still for two hours so you can plait her hair down and do those fancy little designs is ridiculous! You talk about about how beautiful natural/nappy hair can be, yet you never let her wear it out! What kind of message does that send?

I think all black people have brainwashed them self into thinking that the children don't mind. They do mind, you've just braided washed them so they don't know anything else.

Stop trying to make her look white and let her express herself!!! That's all I'm saying about the matter. Thanks for nothing. - Anonymous


I never thought about it that way at all to quite honest. I braid Bunny's hair so when we get up for school or she goes to the music school or she's heading to the gym or whatever, we don't have to spend extra time doing something with her hair.

(I don't think anyone in my family has ever been early for anything in our life's so adding hair time BEFORE we went somewhere would be suicide.)

And yes, she does prefer to wear it out 24/7, but she also wants to grow it long and she doesn't retain length without protective styles.

Weight in and lemme know if you agree or disagree (I know I sure do!!!) with what she's saying?! Thanks and have a great one!

18 comments:

Diva Locks said...

Well I don't think you need help with the mental aspect of being born AA firstly. Secondly I don't think you are trying to make her look white, although I have no clue what the means. How can you look white??? If someone knows please explain it to me. Certainly putting cornrows in her hair is not "making her look white" If this anonymous person had any sense they would know that styling hair however one chooses to do so (braids, twists, wash n go's etc) is a personal choice and each style has a benefit to either the health of the hair or the person wearing it (personal preference perhaps). All in all I am sure you will not let this idiotic letter deter you in anyway. You are a bright and talented young lady :)

Dominique-Alexis said...

@Diva Locks - Yeah that "stop trying to make her look white" thing made me laugh. Thanks for the kind words and the comment!

Jade said...

Just another anonymous fool with too much time on their hands. Just ignore them!

Dawn said...

Instead of belittling you on your efforts to keep your sister's hair healthy, neat, and clean.....this person should have offered some other styling options for young African American children. I don't think that it is fair to have children sit for hours on end just to style hair.....but it is important to keep children neat and clean. In my experience instead of doing tiny cornrows I do larger cornrows or braided styles for my niece and daughter....and try not to exceed an hour for braiding time (unless a more intricate style is requested by the child....and even then I explain to them that it may take a long time). But your sister seems to be much older than my kids...and for her to sit for a longer time doesn't seem to be much of an issue. As adults we sit for hours in salons and pay so much money for people to style our hair.....I think that it is actually more helpful that children have hair role models at home who can teach them how to care for their hair and encourage them to love themselves with out even having to look to other sources. I'm a little confused how braiding a child's hair in cornrows is trying to make them look white....its not everyday that I see white people walking around with cornrows. The person who wrote the email sounds bitter, and probably had a bad hair experience when they were little.

Precious @ Precious-Curls.com said...

...... What an idiot. Lol. I am finding it way too hard to take this person seriously, so don't even try it girl.

The beauty of natural hair is that you can wear it styled, wear it out, whatever. The notion that you have to wear afros/out hair all the time in order to be called natural can't be any further from the truth.

I think "Anonymous" needs help! She couldn't even identify her own foolish self. All she could do was make foolish blanket statements to bring you down. You and I are not "all black people," so how dare she call you and I "brainwashed." You are talented, Dominique! And haters gon' hate! So just take a bow, and thank HER for nothing.

UntrainedHairMom said...

I agree with Tiffany and Jade and I can certainly relate to spending a little bit more time on a style one day so you don't have to style it each and everyday, to me (an I'm sure the children, too) it is worth to not have to sit and have it redone everyday, or detangled everyday from wearing it out.

Dominique-Alexis said...

@Dawn - My sister is 9 - almost 10 - so sitting still isn't a problem for her anymore. What most of you don't know is that we're not allowed to watch TV that much, so she often tells me to take my time in hair time so she can sit in front of the TV as long as she can.

I take brakes every forty minutes or so but she will remain in front of the TV no matter how long she's been sitting there. Kids. Thanks for the feedback!

Dominique-Alexis said...

@ Precious - Totally agree with everything that you said! And thanks!

@ UntrainedHairMom - Yeah we do that a lot too :) Thank you commenting!

Nikki's HairThoughts said...

Humph. Tell me, how does plaiting and cornrowing Bunny's hair make her look white? I'm just as confused as y'all. Dominique-Alexis, you're doing a great job! I wonder if Anonymous thought about what Bunny would rather do--sit for a couple hours and get her hair done for the week or sit down EVERY day and endure a long detangling session...

Dear Anonymous,

Please explain what you mean by making Bunny look white. I'm white as all get out and I'd like to know what race you think I'm trying to look like, since I wear my wavy hair out or in a bun.

Thank you for making assumptions and looking like an idiot. --Nikki

Charlotte's Avenue said...

This person is a joke, mami!!! Throw this mess out with tomorrows trash!!

You continue to do the awesome job you are doing, dollface!!!

Your hands have been blessed by God and your hair and your sisters hair is PROOF that you're doing an awesome job!! :)

Char~

Dominique-Alexis said...

@ Nikki'sHairToughts - Bunny and I've definitely been told that we talk like white people (there's about one other black family where we live so I guess we never learned the black slang or whatever) but trying to look white is definitely a first!

@Charlotte's Avenue - Thanks so much! Appreciate it!

Rae @ Tweeny Hair said...

Ok, by saying that you need help with the mental aspect of being born AA, she's basicallly saying that you don't fit into the black stereotype that exists in her head. And you know what? That's a GOOD thing. Don't be a stereotype. And don't be what anyone else wants you to be. You just be you.

And as far as making Bunny sit so long, if she doesn't mind and if you don't mind, then why on earth would this complete stranger mind? She's telling you that Bunny has a problem sitting for styling sessions. How on earth can she possibly know that? She's just showing her ignorance throughout that entire letter.

I love that you take such amazing care of your sister's hair. You're doing an amazing job...keep it up! <3

Boysandgirlsnaturalcurls said...

This person obviously is just trying to bring you down!! My daughter actually prefers having her hair done up instead of wearing it down because she doesn't like sitting still to get it combed every day and night ya know! I think what you do is great and as far as "making her look white" that makes no sense at all how is that. You are an inspiration doing so well on hair care and recognizing the natural beauty of you and your sisters natural hair

Don't let ignorant fools bring you down keep doing what you are doing!

JenJen said...

My advice to you is to ignore this individual. Be who you are. Braids are beautiful and a great protective style. I can't stand people who try to make others into what they think they should be. Your self worth is not tied into anything others say about you. You define who you are no one else.

Dominique-Alexis said...

@ Tweeny Hair - "Don't be a stereotype. And don't be what anyone else wants you to be. You just be you." I love that paragraph! Beautiful words! Very true!

@ Boysandgirlsnaturalcurls - Thank you! And I will!

@ JenJen - Thanks for the beautiful words! And btw, I am really enjoying your blog (http://jengoingnatural.blogspot.com/)! I love watching your hair journey! It's incredibly inspiring and interesting!

And thank you everyone for all the love and support!

Goldilocks*n*Me said...

Nonsense! Just complete and utter, hateful nonsense! I mean I'm trying to flip Anonymous' argument around and find some tidbit of something that makes sense and I'm just at a loss. And I like how Anon said you "never" let her wear her hair out, like she knows what you "never" do. She ain't there! I just deleted the rest of my comment cuz it was nothing nice. It really irks me that someone would knock a young person down in this way who's just trying to help care for her sibling (and doing a wonderful job). Keep doing what you do, please don't take any of this ridiculousness to heart

brittany vandewalker said...

this person is so stupid and crazy.i think they may have either forgotten there meds os ran out.i would just ignore it.i cant believe the ignorance of some people.i hear alot of people here in my town say why do you braid you daughters hair they are white. and i have to explain my self all the time.i say first they aren't all white they are biracial,there dad is half aa.and were does it say that you have to do your hair a certain way because of your race,can you show me please?alot of people think my children are white because of there skin color.i am so sorry that someone would do this to you.this person really needs some prayers.so why dont we all pray for whom ever it is

Dominique-Alexis said...

@ Goldilocks - LOL, your comment made me crack up. And thank you!

@ Brittney Vanderwalker - Oh wow, I had no idea that your daughters were biracial. And definitely, this poor woman does need some spiritual enlightenment.

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